the whack-a-mole

The last 5 years of my life have been like some bizarre Whack-A-Mole game where unfortunately I have been 

playing the role of the mole.  Short rundown is that I got cancer in late 2007 and underwent a double 

mastectomy and 6 courses of chemotherapy and a lovely case of shingles on my face (which thankfully only 

left me with a couple of scars).  Shortly before my second chemo treatment my employer called to tell me that due to the fact that my husband had a double bypass in Jan, ’07 and I had the surgery and chemo we had unfortunately reached our lifetime cap with our insurance company of $1milion dollars and they could not afford to insure me so they were terminating my employment.  When I finally finished my chemo they informed me that the nerve damage in my feet, tinnitus in my ears and a non-functioning thyroid were a rare but permanent situation, meaning it is what it is and at least my cancer is gone.  At this point I entered into a four year abusive relationship with the government over whether I am disabled or not.  As if having a ringing in my ears that sounds like a 24/7 smoke alarm going off in my head, being unable to wear shoes for more than five minutes without my feet burning like someone was holding them next to a blowtorch, or being ridiculously overweight because of my thyroid wasn’t good enough for them.  Then in 2011 I contracted Transverse Myelitis which left me partially paralyzed from the waist down.  I spent two weeks in the hospital and one of those was in acute rehab where I had to learn how to walk all over again.  On the upside, the government was kind enough to determine that this was a legitimate disability (like the previous claim was illegitimate) and awarded me SSDI and Medicare coverage.  Then last week for no apparent reason, my right leg went completely numb from the hip to the foot.  Soooo, I’m just sitting here wondering when God will get tired of using my life as his personal "whack-a-mole" game...I'm tired of the whole thing and I'm not sure I have enough fight to pop back up just to be whacked again...I'm trying to make sense of all this but all I can come up with is that one life must suck so that many others lives can be happy.  Once again…I have drawn the short straw.  So I'm pretty much done with all of it.